Define your generation here. Generation What
10 things that won’t happen to you this Eid because you’ve grown up
Courtesy: أنديل

1. Eid money

No relatives are giving you money this year to spend on your childish desires. This used to happen when you were younger as a compliment to your parents, but now there are younger people in the family and your parent’s relationship with your family isn’t as good as it used to be. Also, you’re now at an age where people spend most of their money on shisha and playstation, and nobody wants to be funding these activities.  

2. New clothes

Every year your parents had you wear the same clothes for far too long — when it was time to buy new ones they kept postponing any purchases until Eid. Why? So everybody would see you in the morning with new clothes and know your family was rich. If they bought you the jacket you really wanted on any random cold school day to wear to school and get it torn by a nail in your seat, nobody would know you’re rich. Now nobody sees you anyway, so it doesn’t matter what you wear as long as it doesn’t show cleavage.

3. Eid prayer

You won’t pray the Eid prayer this year. Your parents will wake you up early, and you will go with everybody in the direction of the mosque, but now you’re at an age that allows you to sin, at an age when you know that your parents don’t know everything about you. You can choose to go with your friends to the kiosk, smoke and feel manly and adventurous. A few years later you’ll regret that, when you can’t breathe on a five-a-side football pitch even though you’re playing six-a-side.

4. Mingling

Hide and seek, tag, mums and dads, drop the handkerchief. Forget all these “innocent activities” with the opposite sex. Your voice doesn’t fit now with the innocence you’re claiming if you are a dude, and if you’re a girl your family now sees your body as a front window that attracts customers. Have you ever seen a shop owner allowing children to play in the front window?

5. Swings

You know that there was no fun in that, so it’s best to stop now. Those machines were not designed for your current weight.

6. Being emotionally moved by Eid songs

You’ve now heard these songs more than 120 times since your brain developed the ability to recognize sound. It’s almost impossible for them to move anything inside you now.

7. Fireworks

I thought “no swings” was enough for you to understand.

8. Plastic ball

The only thing that could bring you out of the bottom of depression to the peak of happiness and imagination, even if you’re sitting in your aunt’s living room waiting for your mom to finish whining about school expenses. You can’t use this object in public anymore. You can only use it as a replacement for the torn core of a real ball. In that there’s some big symbolism for the function of your innocent memories in the future.

9. Running aimlessly and screaming

Despite how comforting this behavior is, and even though you were allowed to do it one year ago, you can’t do it any more. Unless you really want to.

10. Peace of mind

Maybe you’re on vacation now, but you know very deep inside that you might actually fail chemistry this year. This is a difficult idea to shake from your mind even if you’re surrounded by happy-looking people. Adapt to this feeling, because there’s going to be a lot of it in the future.